I love the tangible FAITH that I find in oils. Picking out the one that suits my mood or the one that signifies what I’m feeling or looking for. Two nights ago, it was Magnify Your Purpose.
I’m searching for something. Something that makes me feel like there’s a reason God put me on this Earth. Something that doesn’t make me feel depleted. Something that gives me joy- not just money.
Sidenote: Money also gives me joy. I love having it. I love spending it. I love giving it. Money is important. I want and need it.
There’s got to be a way to combine everything that makes me ME into something worthwhile. I have to find a way to have some peace in my life without running my home and my family into the ground.
They are more important to me than anything in the world. And certainly more important than my own peace and joy. It breaks my heart to think that a decision I make could cause them pain.
So I continue to search….
But two nights ago, I used Magnify Your Purpose before I went to bed. I prayed very specifically. Lord, I want to discover that one thing that can make a difference in my life, the one thing I’m good at, that can change everything.
When I woke up the next morning, it was the first thing that popped into my mind.
I’m a writer.
I’ve already written three (unpublished) books. I had several requests on queries for those books, but nothing that came to fruition. Those three were Young Adult fiction.
Maybe with all of the changes I’m going through now, all of the struggles, just maybe I should write something different. So I pulled up a Word document and these are the words that came out:
‘All things are possible through God. I pray that he will use me to create a vision in someone else.’
When I look back on my life, I can see the signs. I’ve always enjoyed writing. When I was just out of college, I dreamed of writing my first novel. And what better way to honor him with my talent than to do so by helping others.
I’ve written books before, so I know the challenges I face- time, writer’s block, scrapping whole sections because they don’t make sense or they just aren’t good enough.
But I want this. More than anything, I want to write this book. Even if it is the only one. Even if it sells 25 copies, and only those to members of my family and friends.
I want to write this book.
…and I want it to sell 100,000 copies. No matter how big your dreams are, God can go BIGGER.