Magnify Your Purpose

I love the tangible FAITH that I find in oils. Picking out the one that suits my mood or the one that signifies what I’m feeling or looking for. Two nights ago, it was Magnify Your Purpose.

I’m searching for something. Something that makes me feel like there’s a reason God put me on this Earth. Something that doesn’t make me feel depleted. Something that gives me joy- not just money.

Sidenote: Money also gives me joy. I love having it. I love spending it. I love giving it. Money is important. I want and need it.

There’s got to be a way to combine everything that makes me ME into something worthwhile. I have to find a way to have some peace in my life without running my home and my family into the ground.

They are more important to me than anything in the world. And certainly more important than my own peace and joy. It breaks my heart to think that a decision I make could cause them pain.

So I continue to search….

But two nights ago, I used Magnify Your Purpose before I went to bed. I prayed very specifically. Lord, I want to discover that one thing that can make a difference in my life, the one thing I’m good at, that can change everything.

When I woke up the next morning, it was the first thing that popped into my mind.

I’m a writer.

I’ve already written three (unpublished) books. I had several requests on queries for those books, but nothing that came to fruition. Those three were Young Adult fiction.

Maybe with all of the changes I’m going through now, all of the struggles, just maybe I should write something different. So I pulled up a Word document and these are the words that came out:

‘All things are possible through God. I pray that he will use me to create a vision in someone else.’

When I look back on my life, I can see the signs. I’ve always enjoyed writing. When I was just out of college, I dreamed of writing my first novel. And what better way to honor him with my talent than to do so by helping others.

I’ve written books before, so I know the challenges I face- time, writer’s block, scrapping whole sections because they don’t make sense or they just aren’t good enough.

But I want this. More than anything, I want to write this book. Even if it is the only one. Even if it sells 25 copies, and only those to members of my family and friends.

I want to write this book.

…and I want it to sell 100,000 copies. No matter how big your dreams are, God can go BIGGER.

Get to Know Us

I’d like to say what a perfect representation of “Us” this picture represents, but it’s much too pretty. We’re a mess. A lovable, funny, loud mess.

fam

 

This was taken one Sunday right before Church. My husband was singing that day, so my parents were staying with us, and thankfully able to snap a quick picture.

My husband is perfect. No, seriously, perfect. He works hard, plays hard, and loves us. He is involved with the Church and other service organizations. He coaches soccer and baseball. Sometimes he goes to the grocery store when I don’t feel like it. See? Perfect.

My older son is my guts. He looks like me. He acts like me. He makes me feel sorry for what I must have put my poor parents through when I was his age. DRAMA. It should have been his middle name. He is sweet, thoughtful, and holy cow is the kid smart.

The little one is just like his Daddy. You can practically watch him think. He can take anything apart, then put it back together. He hates to wear clothes and loves to snuggle. He’s my baby.

Not pictured- Duke. Our pitbull. My first baby. He loves to run out to the ponds on our Property. He hates the UPS truck, but loves the driver. He will turn his head away from you, then put a paw on the couch… because of course that means you can’t see him creeping up beside you.

We live in the country. We have a blueberry bush, pear tree, fig tree, fresh garlic, rosemary, and a garden next door in my in-law’s yard. My husband deer hunts on our land. I never pictured myself living this lifestyle, but here we are.

And I love it.

When I Grow Up

I love to ask my kids this question. Truthfully, I’m hoping they will give me some ideas.

I work in an office with interesting people, in interesting walks of life… all who work to help others. Good people with hearts for service. It is one reason I wanted to work in a hospital. I wanted to do something that mattered.

When I took the leap from Property Management, a career that left me totally unfulfilled, it never occurred to me that I was looking for my purpose.

Purpose is one of those words you come across a good bit in reading Personal Development. Now, I am HUGE fan of bettering yourself- and an even bigger fan of reading, but this question of Purpose stumps me every time. It frustrates me and makes me wonder if I’m doing life all wrong.

I feel like I do my job well, but I’m always faced with the question, “When I die, will I feel like I’ve made a difference on this Earth?” In other words, PURPOSE.

Right now, purpose means taking care of the things I’ve been given. First and foremost, my body and mind. Second, my family. Don’t judge me on putting myself first- my philosophy is that you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself. It isn’t being selfish.

But I believe I was chosen to be right here, right now, for a bigger reason. We are all pieces to this larger puzzle and I’m struggling to fit in. God sees me. He knows where I’m headed.

So I’m branching out. I want to try new things. I want to break bad habits (yeah, I have just a few). There’s something out there waiting for me. I just have to wait on God’s perfect timing. And let’s face it, patience is not one of my gifts.

When I grow up, I want to be… hopefully, I will figure it out.